Sunday, April 13, 2008
found out something just. NS is tearing me apart. Labels: emo
loads of problems, many questions, but no answers.
i wanna find someone to give me answers.
but i juz realised, realised such a cruel fact.
many people are just too busy, very busy.
my dearest bro, nic is in NS confined.
my trio gang, edwin n jit is busy n shagged by ns.
my boyfriend, jonah is stuck confined in ns as well.
even my bro pig siew has lost contact wif me.
they are the ones i wanna go to when i've probs.
the ones i can i wanna rely on for answers.
n now they are the ones nt arnd for me.
suddenly i felt kinda lost without directions.
nv felt so since chinhua went off.
so lost so helpless so pathetic me.
are u the one for me?
i fear i fear i made a wrong choice.
i wanna give myself a chance.
would u give me one?
i have no idea.
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Saturday, September 29, 2007
particularly in a bad mood for the day. Labels: emo
sorry to those tt i ignored.
sorry to those tt tolerated.
i believe i've a strong character.
i take alot of things on a much lighter note.
but similar to a rubber band,
i've got a limit.
overstretch n thats it.
i'm seriously unhappy wif my results.
be it tt some ppl really think its gd enuf.
but who would always look whos below?
we should always be looking at whos above.
so i dun think i did well for prelims.
and i made loads of effort to really revise.
but it does nt seem to have a good tradeoff.
i still gt sucky results.
guessed i nv really stressed myself tt much over results.
when i felt tt i alr lost someone.
i thot i could concentrate on studies.
do well, prove it to him.
it's nth to me man.
i can still continue to study n excel.
i studied. but did nt do well.
all this sounds so childish.
but tt was all that really pushed me forward.
i felt tt i still could nt face up to reality.
but deep down, i hoped u did better.
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Tuesday, August 21, 2007
its now time to really start on mass revision. Labels: emo
i have nt much time left.
it could be sufficient if i really place my 100%.
but i'm nt concentrating.
my mind seems to have too many things weighing it down.
everything juz need to stop.
i needa FOCUS.
emo.
when i found out tt.
there is nth left left to do but avoid.
yeah. i'm at a loss. loss at what to do.
loss at even forgetting.
cuz everything is deeply etched.
there is no force capable of removing them.
i tried to pretend u nv existed.
but i could nt help nt thinking.
why u can treat things so lightly.
and i could nt. i could nt forget.
i cant even pretend.
i regret knowing u?!
no. cuz the memories are irreplaceable.
there's nth i can do now.
except be like an idiot n type here.
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Tuesday, May 15, 2007
my mood simply got worse. Labels: emo
i'm simply frustrated.
over my dumb failure.
did nt have any mood to properly revise for the retest.
and guess how was it?
i simply wrote my own story.
whole paper was crap.
but freakingly pissed wif myself aft tt.
forget it. my fault for being stupid.
and found out my nose simply cant stop bleeding.
but i saw myself bleed.
all the blood flowed painlessly.
and for tt instant.
i thought why wun i juz die of such nosebleed?
wad a dumb me.
and i seriously failed to improve my mood.
found it tough to go to school.
needa keep on a good mood.
nt to let ppl worry.
but i simply hate myself.
for being so damn useless.
found out i can die easily w/o my friends.
those tt are so close to me.
but i'm juz so far away now.
so i'm dying.
tired.
unhappy.
ok, i'm emo.
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