Tuesday, September 30, 2008
*ALERT* Labels: lousy
this is going to be a very long long long entry i presume.
Life recently has been so regimental,
being on duty, burning my weekends, screwing my body clock.
all this all that has made me so dead.
practically so like a zombie, repeatedly doing the same stuffs.
all this is like my routine,
so much that i became truly ignorant to many things.
the only constant that is true is change.
everything is subjective to many changes.
i've alr spent my ninth month in ns.
so many things are different.
the girls like yueqi are all in uni alr.
working forth towards their future.
denise is also doing well in her poly i suppose.
most of my jc mates are in ns alr,
majority trying our best to reach the ORD date..
thats for now i suppose,
but as for me, i have been moving backwards most of the time.
especially with my friends.
now i really just feel like isolating myself,
keep myself home till i ORD.
my schedule screws me up badly.
i either find myself too occupied with duties, or just too tired after duties.
i cant even pick up my energy to do anything else.
meet-ups become so difficult on my part.
sometimes i have the heart to do it, but lack the energy.
at times i have the energy, but just mentally tired alr..
at times i just decide to relax, wait to be called out instead.
but often i'm disappointed.
timings i suppose, makes me feel left out.
but more often than not, it's not the case.
yes, they still do care i suppose.
but just too busy at that timing to care.
but heck that, i cant think properly to continue the post now.
postpone this for the next time man.
guess edwin does make a difference.
he is indeed an important buddy.
someone i cant lose. my heart lost me.
i am just too soft hearted.
and too hard on the outside.
i feel really lousy.
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