Sunday, April 20, 2008
sian x10 screwed up weekend. Labels: screw me
dun ask me why.
cuz everything does nt go expectedly.
everythings turns out topsy turvy.
my mind is in a whirl now too.
every now n then, unexpectedly, i would think of the past.
days when i had much more to rely on, to fall back on.
like when chinhua was arnd tt time.
i really hoped things had nt evolved to that stage.
but wht's the point. things wun change now.
what has happened is permanent.
wad harm done to the heart can nv be reversed.
yes. i nv did hate him. cuz i cant do so.
but so wad? as if he would pity me.
but i wld nv wan his sympathy.
i'm not pathetic to that extent yet.
so wht if he came into my heart as a great friend?
he still end up hurting, leaving behind him a trail of blood
n the scar that would hurt now n then.but i wish to be frens still
how pathetic am i man. screw me.
told edwin things i nv wanted to say.
things i maybe wun even tell him for life.
things i wanna keep within myself.
things that i only dare to dream abt.
but why?
cuz i fear.
i fear thing would nv happen.
i fear i'm juz dreaming on.
i fear of hurting myself.
i fear of my selfishness.
wad i need now is juz ur assurance.
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